It will be a great day when schools have all the funding they need, and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber. – bumper sticker.

Excuse me, sir?  Sir?  Would you be interested in some shortbread?  Lemon bar?  The lemon bars are fresh, sir; why, private Williams here got them out of the oven and sprinkled the sugar not 30 minutes ago.  It’s for a good cause.  Sir?

Thank you anyway, sir.  Maybe next time.

Corporal Jackson!  Front and center! What in the hell, I mean what in the holy living hell did you do to this apple pie!?  For God’s sake, son, it’s the all-American dessert!  The Belgians are pounding Twin Falls, Idaho, and you’re giving me apple pie with no crust on top?!  No cross-hatching?!  This is not how to win a war, damn it!  Son, you better get your head in this…